What an original concept! Love it. I'm wondering about putting punctuation at the end of the second line. Maybe a period or colon? But only if I am understanding the poem correctly, because it does change the meaning.
Thanks, Tabatha, for the suggestion. I actually like that there is two (or more) meanings - that is why I opted for the zero punctuation. I love that readers have a different take on meanings of poems. =)
I love it! What a sharp image and nice twist! I have often appreciated the advice to leave punctuation out of haiku so that the reader can find more than one meaning. I like them bald and stark that way.
Thank you, Andromeda! I, too, am not a fan of much punctuation in haiku. I love that my poem is stirring different images/meanings for different people. =)
I like your lack of punctuation. Aren't haiku supposed to not need them? I like thinking of conversationalists being poetic baggers, take care not to bruise with words.
What an original concept! Love it. I'm wondering about putting punctuation at the end of the second line. Maybe a period or colon? But only if I am understanding the poem correctly, because it does change the meaning.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tabatha, for the suggestion. I actually like that there is two (or more) meanings - that is why I opted for the zero punctuation. I love that readers have a different take on meanings of poems. =)
DeleteLove this idea too! Tabatha has a good point, but maybe you intended the poem to be read both ways?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jama! Yes, I think it can be interpreted in a number of ways...sometimes a readers meaning is more profound than my own. =)
DeleteI love it! What a sharp image and nice twist! I have often appreciated the advice to leave punctuation out of haiku so that the reader can find more than one meaning. I like them bald and stark that way.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Andromeda! I, too, am not a fan of much punctuation in haiku. I love that my poem is stirring different images/meanings for different people. =)
DeleteNice! It is a funny question, isn't it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Liz! Yes, now they should ask did you bring your own bags. =)
DeleteOh, I love the image this triplet brings to mind. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joy! I can't look at a bagger in the grocery store the same way again - they, too, may be a poet. =)
DeleteI like your lack of punctuation. Aren't haiku supposed to not need them? I like thinking of conversationalists being poetic baggers, take care not to bruise with words.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Bruising with words is too common these days on social media - hopefully people are more careful in their face-to-face conversations. =)
DeleteI love poems that use the title in such an intentional way!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary Lee! Titles are so hard, aren't they?
DeleteSeems your provoking a lot of thought with this one little haiku, Bridget. We're all poetic baggers at heart, aren't we?
ReplyDeleteThank you, Michelle! Yes, we are, and we are all fragile. =)
DeleteI love the layers that could be discerned in just three lines. Thank you for this thought-provoking post, Bridget.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Myra! Sometimes I think smaller poems with fewer words provoke the most thought. I think they let the reader in a little more maybe. =)
Delete